Awkwardness

I was asked at work today by my friend, Stephanie, to blog about why I hate singing. So, here goes....

It's not the singing that I hate so much as the eye contact. It is just so awkward. Here's the thing, if you are singing, you are there for the entertainment, I don't have to look if I don't want to. I hate it when singers try to draw you in by making eye contact. I know, I had to take Speech 101 too and I know that eye contact is esssential for making your point. I'm actually really into making eye contact when I am talking to people. I find that it reveals honesty and openness. I'm very picky about my eye contact when I shake someone's hand. It's sort of a thing I do. I squeeze firmly and make eye contact. So, in general, I have nothing against eye contact; unless, someone is singing.

I think everyone has been to a show where the person singing locks eyes with you and for a few seconds, you feel uncomfortable, or at least I do. I just don't want to look. It's embarrassing for some reason. I've always felt that way. I remember, as a child, not wanting to be volunteered to go up and help with magic tricks at shows. I also remember that when Ronald McDonald came to our school, he would always pick the kids with the best posture. I tried to slouch my shoulders as much as possible without looking obvious. I DID NOT want to help Ronald McDonald.

Do you know what is even more awkward than someone making eye contact with you while they are singing? Two people singing together that look at each other intently while singing. Don't get me started on Faith Hill and Tim McGraw. We get the point, you have the most active romantic life of any couple, ever. We don't need to see you undress one another with your eyes. It makes the entire audience uncomfortable. I suppose it's the awkward chemistry that is often purposefully orchestrated that I find weird, too. It's sort of like when Fleetwood Mac did that big reunion record and had the special on VH1 about 13 years ago. I'm pretty sure the producers asked Lindsay Buckingham and Stevie Nicks (yes, Josh B, if you are reading this, Lindsay is the boy and Stevie is the girl, LOL) to really play up the hot and heavy eye contact and give the audience the idea that there is some unresolved sexual tension there. They really wanted people to think that after all these years, they still had some serious chemistry. They were laying it on pretty thick. Even at home, it felt slightly awkward. Poor audience members. They do it for effect but it makes me squirm.

I sang in the chorus in elementary and high school. Pretty much from 5th grade until 10th grade I performed in choral concerts. I usually didn't make eye contact with someone, unless it was an accident. I generally tried to focus on an inanimate object. Number one, I didn't necessarily want to be up there. Number two, how weird is it to sing to a stranger while deliberately staring into their eyes? Pretty weird. I loved being in chorus, I just didn't love performing that much. I guess that's why dance was so great, I never saw the audience. The lights were too bright to see anyone's face. I knew they were out there, but I couldn't see them. So, in a way, they weren't really there. Out of sight, out of mind. Sort of.

So, yeah, nothing makes me more uncomfortable than when people sing to me or at me. I like to think that perfect strangers are singing at me. And, it makes me uneasy. It seems to be a running joke these days, as people do it now deliberately to make me feel uncomfortable!! I think it's hilarious at times, like last Saturday when I was serenaded by a few friends who broke out the karaoke machine and started singing Van Halen and Pink Floyd to me. Special thanks to Jamie, Blake and Mallory! It was really funny!!! I didn't want to make eye contact, but it was so hilarious! In general though, like at plays and things like that, I just want to be anonymous and I don't want the singers to try to draw me in with their eyes!!! It's just too awkward!!