Crazy Dream

Last night, I had the craziest dream. I dreamt I had a baby. It was a girl but there was no name. At the beginning of the dream, she was a newborn. I was amazed at how flat my stomach was getting already. There was also a man there who had just had a baby and he was amazed at how flat his stomach was, too! Crazy!

Some things happened in this dream that really make me question my mothering skills, if I ever decide to use them.

First, apparently I only had one bottle for the baby. It was the one they gave me at the hospital. She got hungry so I fed her but she wanted another one and I didn't have another bottle or any formula. She was not too happy about it and was pretty hungry.

Then, she was crying so I had to change her diaper. I bought these really big diapers that I had to fold down a bunch of times to make them work. It took like 30 minutes for me to put the first diaper on her and then right after she used the bathroom again and I was so frustrated because I knew I had to start the whole process over again.

At one point, she must have been a little older than a newborn because I let her play with two cats on some stairs outside the door of our apartment. Where us living in an apartment came in I have no clue. She seemed to like the cats and there were also some cardboard boxes on the stairs, too. Cats and stairs and newborns, or babies in general, don't exactly make for a great playground.

I remember looking into her room and it was so messy, hangers and crap just everywhere. There was a crib but at one point I remember propping her up on my bed while I was doing something. I remember thinking in my dream that I hadn't gotten anything ready. I hadn't bought, organized or stored any wipes or bottles or formula and I hadn't even finished her room. It looked awful and I remember being mad at myself for procrastinating and not working on it.

At the end of the day, Matt came home and I guess I told him that I didn't have any toys or bottles or anything and he reminded me that our Sunday School class had given us a shower and we still had everything we received in a box. I ran and got it and dumped it out. It had a bunch of odds and ends in it but I found a pair of red and black sunglasses that I loved. Why someone gave me a pair of sunglasses for a baby shower I don't know! I remember thinking, Score! I put them on and I'm thinking I forgot all about the baby.

These are not exactly the traits of a good mother. This dream really kind of scared me. I mean, I feel certain I would never do these things, but still. What kind of mother doesn't have formula or bottles and cares more about a pair of sunglasses than diapers or toys for her baby? Apparently, me in that dream, and it was so crazy!! Let's just hope that none of these instances ever resembles my real life!